I've been a bit lax writing for a while, but here's a story to make things up.
Once upon a time there was a smoked meat product that had grown hard and cruel with age. It's fats had gone yellow, it's flesh black. It proceeded to hatch a plot with a vicious sharp knife to make a break for freedom, fame and fortune.
This unsavory duo crossed the path of a poor soul, poor in that he was a job-seeker in a time of recession with an odd sociologically coloured education quite unsuited to the basic demands of a market economy and real life. True to their plot, they callously tried to maim and wound this poor soul. The meat product slipped treachorously, taking the knife's blade deep into said soul's flesh.
Alas, the knife turned traitor again. The soul recaptured the meat product and finger-wound well-bandaged proceeded to sever the meat product into small pieces and consume them all, to the very last.
Thus ended the tale of the old meat product.